How to Look After Yourself When Caring for Someone in Chronic Pain

Caring for someone who lives with chronic pain is a deeply meaningful role—but also one that can take a quiet toll on your own health and well-being. Whether you’re helping with physical tasks, offering emotional support, or just trying to stay strong beside them, it’s easy to lose track of your own needs.

This article is for carers who want to continue supporting someone they love—without burning out in the process.

1. Acknowledge That It’s Hard

You might not talk about it often, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult. Being there for someone in pain often means managing your own feelings of worry, helplessness, or even frustration. These emotions are normal—and it’s okay to name them.

When you acknowledge the emotional load you’re carrying, it becomes easier to find healthy ways to cope.

2. Set Boundaries That Make Care Sustainable

Setting limits isn’t selfish—it’s smart. It’s what allows you to keep showing up day after day. Boundaries could be as simple as:

• Taking an hour each evening just for yourself
• Saying no to requests that stretch you too thin
• Asking for space when you need to recharge

Small boundaries protect your energy so you can keep giving from a place of care, not exhaustion.

3. Let Others Help, Even If It’s Not Perfect

You might be the main caregiver, but you don’t have to be the only one. Friends, neighbors, and extended family may not understand the situation completely—but many are willing to lend a hand.

If someone offers to help, try saying yes. Whether it’s running an errand or just sitting with your loved one while you take a break, every bit counts.

4. Build Small Habits That Support Your Own Health

Caring often means your own needs come last. But even brief moments of attention to your own well-being can make a difference. Try:

• Stepping outside for five minutes of fresh air
• Taking a few deep breaths before bed
• Listening to music or a podcast while you tidy up

These small resets help bring your nervous system out of stress mode and give you back a sense of calm and control.

5. Don’t Wait Until You’re Exhausted to Ask for Support

The longer you push through on your own, the harder it is to bounce back. If you’re feeling emotionally drained, irritable, or disconnected, it may be time to talk to someone—a friend, a therapist, or even a doctor.

You don’t need to be in crisis to reach out. Support is not only for the person in pain—it’s for the person caring, too.

6. Remember That You’re Doing Something Important

It’s easy to overlook your own role when the spotlight is on the person in pain. But being a carer means being a steady source of compassion, courage, and strength. That matters.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to keep showing up—and take care of yourself so you can keep doing so.